Just Stop And Think: Weekend Horoscopes Aug. 9-11 Betches

Is it f*cking fall yet? No, but I say we defy the planets, stars, and seasons and all just start wearing long sleeves and leggings. Kids are heading back to school shortly (thank you, God) and we’re already prepping for holiday shopping, because, well, what else am I going to do at work all day? This weekend, all of our horoscopes seem to be focused on sitting and and thinking. We think that’s best done with a bottle of bubbly if the weather insists on staying hot for the next month or whatever. Chase your dreams, Leo. It’s an amazing weekend to ignore inhibitions and run after a big project, huge move, or longtime crush, because the stars are aligning …

Getting Away With Murder: ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ Recap Betches

Before we dive into this, the penultimate episode of The Handmaid’s Tale, I want to present you all with a theory I’ve been working on. I think much like how every friend group has a Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte, they also have a wife, a handmaid, an aunt, and a Martha. The wife is the rich friend who always looks chic and knows the best bars/clubs/island getaways. The downside to hanging out with her is she can be kind of a bitch sometimes and is always in a long-term relationship with the douchiest bro you’ve ever met in your life, who she insists on bringing to everything. The handmaid is your most fun friend with a f*ck it attitude who …

Is CBD Lube Legit? Betches

intense orgasmsWait, what’s CBD lube? Health Benefits & Other Perks We already know that lube supplements our body’s natural lubrication to make sex and masturbation feel better, but what are the advantages of using a lubricant? Like, what’s the point of spending your hard-earned cash on CBD lube instead of using that old bottle of generic drugstore lube that’s been sitting in your nightstand drawer for two years?  Other benefits to CBD lube include sain and tension relief, recreased anxiety or stress, hHow do you actually use weed lube? Marination is a weird word, so I refuse to say it, but there IS a time period involved with how quickly these products take to “work.” To feel the full effect, …

The Best Bachelorette Recap Youll Ever Read: Men Are Still Trash Betches

Sponsored by SkinnyPop Welcome to night two of my personal hell The Bachelorette season finale! Last night, Hannah’s final two men, Tyler and a guy who really should have just gone on The Voice, met her parents and had their last one-on-one dates before proposal day. I think the high points for me was watching Tyler restore health and vitality to Hannah’s mother with one flash of his dimples, and then, in contrast, watching Hannah become physically ill at the thought of her forever with Jed. The low point was having to listen to Jed defend his dog food jingle as a strategic career move that all the “real artists” have to do at least once before making it big. …

Facetune Is Ruining Our Mental HealthHere’s What We Can Do About It Betches

How many Photoshopped pictures have you come across today? One? Two? 15 Kardashian posts in a row? It’s almost impossible to tell, considering the ease with which apps like Facetune allow us to doctor ourselves. Unless, of course, you have a Photoshop wizard on retainer who will call that sh*t out in a regular column. But assuming you don’t (since apparently most celebrities don’t either), believe us when we say, Photoshop is everywhere. It doesn’t take an expert to tell you that constantly staring at doctored photos of beautiful people will eventually take a toll on your mental health, but we checked in with one just to be safe. Earlier this week, I had the pleasure of speaking to clinical …

I’m Answering More Questions About My Open Relationship Because You Asked Betches

I recently wrote an article that addressed the annoying questions people ask me about my open relationship, because I’m a f*cking hero, but turns out y’all have even more questions. A lot of people in the comments wanted to know how the logistics of how my open relationship works, others wanted to explain to me, a person they have never met, how my love life is a sham. Love all of my fans equally. ANYWAY, I’m going to address some of the logistics here, but they aren’t going to be concrete. Sorry, bitch. But here’s the thing: open relationships are amazing because they are open, not just to sexual partners but to different options, variations, and changes. Everyone makes the …

Where Are Justin And Selena’s New Albums? An Investigation Betches

Even though Justin Bieber is now happily married to Hailey Baldwin, we’ll never really forget his relationship with Selena Gomez. They were young Hollywood’s most iconic couple for a long time, and deep down, I still feel like a piece of #Jelena will never die. My therapist tells me I need to work on letting go of things, but I feel like this doesn’t count. After initially getting together in 2010, Justin and Selena were together until 2012 before breaking up the first time. Then, they went through a few years of total relationship whiplash, getting back together in 2013, 2014, and 2015. Despite getting back together for a few months at the end of 2017, 2015 was the last …

Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart Reportedly Split Betches

When it comes to celebrity couples, we all have that one. You know, the one you think are completely rock solid and take for granted. The one that, to you, exemplifies true love. The one that, if they were to break up, would signify that love as we know it does not exist. For me, that couple is probably Chrissy Teigen and John Legend. But if you’re a teenager and Riverdale fan, that couple might be Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart, who are (were?) a couple on Riverdale and in real life. So I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news when I tell you that multiple outlets are reporting Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart may have broken up. Cole and Lili, who …

Is The Elliptical Worth It? An Investigation Betches

If you go to the gym with any regularity (ok, stop bragging), you likely have a love-hate relationship with the elliptical. On the one hand, it’s literally the easiest machine there. On the other hand, you kind of feel like a fake piece of sh*t because pop culture consistently references the elliptical as a non-workout. But as we’ve learned in 2019, the workout you’re seeing all over Instagram is not necessarily the right one for you—and types of cardio you’d written off as a waste of time could actually be valuable (hello, walking on the treadmill!). So, is the elliptical actually worth it? Here are the results of my investigation. Sidenote: Women of Twitter, please stop bragging about using the squat …

3 Ways Weed Has Improved My Sex Life Betches

Here’s a very millennial humble-brag you probably haven’t heard before. While the idea of having sex without alcohol was once unthinkable, I now don’t like drunk sex much at all—but think high sex is completely incredible. In college (and I know I’m not alone in this), sober sex just never really happened. Being drunk nearly constantly didn’t help, but sex seemed like something you could only unlock after getting drunk and brave enough to meet up with someone. It was a way to pull back from the experience and be less aware of what was going on. I know this all sounds a little tragic, but hey—not all of us had fairytale romance in college. I had fun, I’m fine, and …

YouTuber Jaclyn Hill Had To Apologize For Selling Dangerous Makeup

Hey guys, and welcome back to my channel! Today, I’m going to be talking about my new favorite topic that a lot of you have been asking about: YouTube beauty drama. If you’ve never heard of Jaclyn Hill, prepare yourself! If you like this post and want to see more ~content~ like this, don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe! Oh my god, I swear I don’t know what just came over me. At this point, I feel like YouTubers are just creating scandals so we’ll talk about them. Whether that’s the case or not, I just can’t look away from these train wrecks. After James vs. Tati died down, it was only a matter of time before the next …

Gwyneth Paltrow Doesn’t Live With Her Husband, And We’re All For It Betches

reports, “Interestingly, she and [her husband] don’t live together yet, though he is close by. He sleeps at his own house when his children, Brody and Isabella, stay; on the other four nights he’s chez Paltrow.” So why don’t the lovebirds—she the founder of the lifestyle brand exclusively targeted at the .03% and he the co-creator of TV’s most terrifying shows, and —live together? I imagine it’s because every piece of furniture in her home is white and her OCD starts to act up when too many people breathe on it. But contrary to my theory, Gwyneth has no shame in revealing the real reason and I have to say, I’m about it.  . I think the reason Gwenyth’s admission …

Is Justin Bieber And Hailey Baldwin’s Wedding Ever Happening? Betches

What keeps you up at night? Insomnia? Stress dreams? The unquenchable desire to know when Hailey Baldwin and Justin Bieber will eventually have their (public) wedding? If you answered the latter, you’re in the right place. After months of speculation, it looks like we’re finally getting some details on when these two crazy kids will be tying the knot. Buckle up, there’s a lot of hearsay from here on out. To recap, Bieber and Baldwin were married in a low-key courthouse ceremony last September but it was not officially confirmed until November via this Instagram post by none other than Justin himself. Naturally, rumors of a bigger, star-studded ceremony started swirling immediately. It was leaked that save the dates were …

Why Instagram Is Coming For Miley Cyrus Over…A Cake? Betches

In between all the over-filtered beach thirst traps, there’s a lot of genuinely good content on Instagram. There are tons of designers and artists creating cool original work, from photoshopped pictures of Harry Potter characters to important political artwork. As much as I love Bachelor contestants who call themselves “creators,” I prefer actual creative talent, especially when people use their creative talent to spread an important message. One of these creators is Becca Rea-Holloway, who runs the Instagram account The Sweet Feminist. Becca specializes in cakes, cookies, and other sweet treats, all branded with feminist messages. It’s a perfect way to bring together fun and colorful designs with important political messages. A few weeks ago, after Alabama passed its law effectively banning …

Your Work Stress Could Be An Actual Medical Condition Betches

Late 20s culture is many things: your friends all getting married when you can’t even get a second date, your idea of cooking beginning and ending with boiling water to make pasta, and wondering at what age you officially have to start making your own doctors appointments. But probably the biggest aspect of late 20s culture is being stressed. Stressed about dating, stressed about work, stressed about the fact that our planet might be beyond repair and we may all die very soon in the real-life incarnation of 28 Days Later. And it’s no wonder we’re all stressed about work: college tuition has more than doubled since the 1980s, leaving many millennials saddled with debt ($17,126 per graduate who took out loans) …

Mars Is In Cancer & Here’s How That Could Affect Your Sex Life Betches

Here’s where it can get a little tricky: The archetype of Mars is considered “masculine,” as it determines how we fight, and what we fight for; hence it’s Aries’ planetary ruler and Scorpio’s co-ruler. (Aries and Scorpio didn’t learn how to go to battle on their own, trust me.) Mars epitomizes the astrological element fire, as opposed to Cancer, who can easily cry a whole river. Get the picture? The only thing these two energies have in common is that they’re both cardinal, which means they thrive when taking the initiative. Sexually, this transit can be pretty intimate, and I’ll tell you why. In Cancer, Mars prefers to take action behind closed doors, where it feels secure, emotionally and physically. …